‘GAYS UNDERMINING MARRIAGE’, SAYS PRESS RELEASE

April 10, 2011

The gay lobby continues to undermine the sacrosanct institution of marriage, according to a damning new report by a PR company.

Dichs&Lobley have made the report available to hungry journalists in the past week and are delighted with the coverage.

“We’re very pleased about the exposure we’re getting. We’ve been in the business for years and we know how to play the press. When we were offered a skip-full of cash to promote homophobia, covert racism and general intolerance towards minorities, we were delighted with the opportunity.”

PASSAGES

Commenting on the difficulties they had conveying complex ideas to a readership with the mental age of a dead monkey, chief executive of Dichs&Lobley, Tristram Dichs added,

“It very difficult to distil lots of material down to sizes that the average gutter journalist can accommodate. Large passages are usually disappointing and put punters off. Size is important, and knowing when to release: timing is everything.”

PROMISCUITY

Julian Gaggin, spokesgay for gay advocacy group Rings of Ire, says marriage has many benefits which shouldn’t be denied to gays and lesbians:

“For too long we’ve been denied the frisson of adultery. We have to make do with just old-fashioned promiscuity but marriage would open up a whole new world of excitement and moral degradation. Just think of the extra-marital affairs. Sex was starting to get dull for fags, and we’re tired of bareback sex with strangers. Even the monthly HIV test has lost its excitement. We want something new–we want marriage– and it’s a contravention of our rights to deny it.”

“We are also worried that the conservative press might tire of boring stories about cottaging and gay orgies. Gays are secretly worried that the tabs will move on to other outgroups. We’re terrified of the day we wake up and there’s not a single sensationalised story about dirty gays. If we don’t have the right to adultery then it will be Asians making middle England gag on its porridge.”

WICKEDNESS

Felony Milps, of Decent Ordinary Christians Keeping Institutions Not Gay, opined that gays are trying to ruin a millenia-old tradition which has its roots in the inviolable wisdom of some old books.

“There is lots of evidence that gays make bad parents. Marriage must be between a man and a woman because it is the normative coupling in nature and the only one which can produce children into a safe, loving home environment which in turn produces unquestioning Judeo-Christian traditionalists thereby ensuring that normal values are ensured and enshrined in society as they ought to be according to the traditional traditions which have been the bedrock of civilisation and are unalterable and not subject to scrutiny nor any meddling by devious multicultural relativistic liberals who regularly resort to the sneaky tactics like independent thought, reasoning, logic and the wickedness of empirical evidence.”

PUBESCENT

Ed Todgebury, Conservative MP for Girthing Frockett and Minister for Fairness, has been leading a campaign in the Commons to put an end to homosexual behaviour with the exception of elite private schools.

“It’s alright in the boarding school dorm but when one reaches school-leaving age one must no longer tumesce when one espies the exquisite globularity of a pubescent boy’s bottom.”

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The moral regression of Melanie Phillips

May 6, 2010

I have read the journalistic nonsense of Melanie Phillips for some years and it continues to surprise me how she actually gets away with it. She is a big fish in the conservative movement but in a riposte to Jonathan Freedland she coyly denied this:

Jonathan justifies his attack by claiming that I have massive influence. Would that it were so! I remain, alas, merely one journalist trying to tell the truth as I see it. Jonathan can breathe easily again.

Whatever the scale of her influence in 2007, and it was big, her influence is indeed massive in 2010: Lecturing widely, contributing to Fox News, a Daily Mail column, blogging at the Spectator, writing for the Jewish Chronicle, appearing on Question Time and BBC 4’s Moral Maze, promoting books–that’s massive. Liberal-minded people must watch with horror as her influence expands and the rhetoric intensifies. This week alone has seen her launch a new book as well as having a cover story in the Spectator.

Her big theme (aside from the Middle East, a subject for another day), abundantly reinforced throughout her writing, is that atheism, rationalism and the like are bad and Judeo-Christian voodoo is actually authentic reason. This is an attempt by one journalist to rewrite three millenia of philosophy. All the brilliant philosophers have been wasting their brains since Christianity because Phillips has figured it all out. Read the rest of this entry »


Kill yourself, professor Jones

February 7, 2010

It seems that nothing gets a counter-enlightenment lunatic more exercised than climate change science.

The Sunday Times has an exclusive interview with professor Phil Jones where he reveals that he contemplated suicide after the CRU emails went public.

Unsurprisingly the article has attracted hundreds of nutcases, conspiracy theorists and maniacal religious cretins to add their splenetic wisdom to the ‘debate’. Accepting that a selection bias inheres in any internet comment thread, it is wise not to see them as representative of anything. But sometimes the vitriol is startling. Here’s a selection of comments whose haughty authors lament that professor Jones didn’t act on his suicidal thoughts. All selected from the first 60 comments alone.

mark Heath wrote:
I have two choices for the prof! I can lend him my 9MM or I can give him a rope. One less communist radical on earth to destroy our economy and our lives. We just had 20″ of snow in the mid atlantic. Is this global warming? These radicals are all nuts and need to be shut down. Suicide is an option!!!!
February 7, 2010 4:58 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (94)

joe pane wrote:
It’s time Professor Jones for you to finish your plan.
February 7, 2010 2:31 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (39)

RJ VC wrote:
Professor Jones,
May I quote from the late Tom Lantos: “Well at least Admiral Bourda had the honor to commit suicide.”
February 7, 2010 2:03 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (21)

Michael Lee wrote:
I do hope that before he does the honorable thing, he’ll advise Al Gore to do the same, and perhaps provide him the means.

The sad but unmistakable fact of the matter is that any enterprise associated with politicians and given access to tax money is going to become utterly corrupt and lead to death and destruction.

In my view this can only be corrected by destroying more politicians, and their hirelings. Fortunately at least in the U.S. we have a few that destroy themselves — but not nearly enough.
February 7, 2010 2:04 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (31)

Up1 Up wrote:
I thought of killing myself, says climate scandal professor Phil Jones

Why didn’t you?
Because you are a coward!
Just like the rest of your free loading, elitist,socialist hack buddies living off free money from socialist governments to which you sell your soul and junk science!!!
Go to hell and take your ilk with you!
Miserable lowlife scum!
February 7, 2010 2:05 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (65)

JOSEPH KLEIN wrote:
It’s not too late, Phil. You say you are a scientist? Perhaps you were.
February 7, 2010 1:54 PM GMT on community.timesonline.co.uk
Recommend? (21)



The diminishing credibility of right wing America

October 1, 2009

The escalating madness pervading right wing America can be traced back to Rush Limbaugh’s speech given to the Conservative Political Action Conference in late February. It was to be a portentous day for it marked a rather profound change of direction for the GOP & Co.; one had the feeling that once the election was over the reactionary fringes were at last able to be themselves since there were no more votes to lose. Limbaugh was excitedly hailed as the de facto leader of the GOP by the conservative punditocracy. Since then the right wing has been drifting steadily right, utterly untethered to reality, and Limbaugh has been usurped in popularity by the renascent Glenn Beck, a conservative conspiracy theorist who’s topping the ratings at FOX News. Beck’s star is very much in the ascendant in 2009 as he taps the political zeitgeist by feeding fear to the conservative grassroots only too happy to think with their adrenal glands and not their brains. Before the election, you’d imagine, someone on the right would have told him to shut up but since a black totalitarian fascist radical-progressive infanticidal Nazi seized power, Beck has been allowed, even encouraged, to go feral.

The fair ‘n’ balanced (they still claim) FOX has all but come out of the closet, giving significant airtime to such luminaries as Michelle Bachmann, a republican representative who appeared on FOX several times reminding everyone that census data were used to round up Japanese Americans in the forties. There’s a census next year, of course. But Bachmann’s insinuations seem mundane when compared to the vast canon of conspiracy theories that has proliferated since Obama’s inauguration, too innumerable to mention.

FOX has been giving its pseudo-journalistic junta of propagandists an extraordinary amount of flexibility which makes any claim that FOX is a news network risibly mendacious. It ceased being a news network long ago, if it ever was. FOX News has transmogrified into a ceaseless montage of opinionated and demonstrably partisan pundits and conspiracy theorists whose grasp of an objective reality outside their prejudices is tenuous at the very best. It is op-ed TV of the worst, most tendentious and intellectually dysfunctional kind.

Another asphyxiated canary is Charles Johnson’s Little Green Footballs, a traditionally right-of-centre blog which has stridently denounced the hysterical excesses of the right during the year. The result was a mass-defection of many of its followers to a new rival blog which spearheaded a vituperative backlash against LGF, an extensive and vicious campaign that culminated in Johnson being effectively excommunicated from the right wing, his traditional home.  But this wasn’t just another skirmish on the internet, LGF’s stance evoked criticism from conservatives even in the mainstream news.

At the moment the Republican base cannot comprehend its own hypocrisy. Even moderate Republicans are conspicuously silent, refusing to confront the extreme fringe of its party and supporters. The Obama-Hitler analogy is simply an undemocratic, unpatriotic slur, one which is all the more ludicrous when the authoritarian behaviour of the extreme right wing is, by any comparison, much more redolent of Nazism than the Democratic party could ever be.